


I've Hurt You

by FairyFans363



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Love Confessions, One Shot, Regret, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:48:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21545566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyFans363/pseuds/FairyFans363
Summary: She said, she missed him.He said, he doesn't deserve her.
Relationships: Natsu Dragneel/Lucy Heartfilia
Comments: 4
Kudos: 78





	I've Hurt You

It has been half a year.

It has been half a year since that unfortunate night.

Since she sacrificed Aquarius' key.

Since the guild disbanded.

Since _he_ left.

It has not been long since she moved to Crocus. To stay in Magnolia after all of those things happened became too unbearable for her. Too painful. Too longing. Too.... _empty_.

Jason had been so kind as to give her a chance in Sorcerer's Weekly. Oh yes. She loved writing. She always did. Although writing news reports were not as exciting as writing her novels it helped her to get through day by day. Also, it helped her to track her friends' whereabouts. She has not got the chance to meet any of them again but she was glad that she knew where they are. _At least_ _that was what she forced herself to believe_.

Lucy tracked her friends' whereabouts, pinpointing their locations on the map she put up on her wall. _It was so she knows they are alright_. She kept convincing herself.

Deep-down, she knew. She just did not want to acknowledge it. It was not that she needed to track her friends' whereabouts. It was not so she knows that they are alright. _Well...those add as a bonus_. But, it was because she wanted to find _him_.

But after all those efforts?

_None._

_Not even a glimpse._

_Nothing_.

His last letter was kept safely inside her drawer. Now crumpled. Stained with tears.

She did not want to acknowledge it.

But

 _She missed him_.

***

She met him. Of course, she did. Of course, he had to come to Grand Magic Game when she was there. Of course, he had to give her that stupid _smile_. She could not do anything but to smile back. _He was there. Finally_.

And of course, he had to crash at her place. _Again_. Still with that _stupid smile_. Lucy swallowed down her tears and _smile_. Because he was here. _Finally_.

And of course, he had to come to her room. _Again_. And saw the map she put up on her wall. Lucy pretended she was asleep and not to cry. Because he was here. _Finally_.

***

Natsu was not stupid. He was not dense. He just did not want to admit it. The regret piled up day by day. He left Magnolia. He left everything behind. He wanted to disappear so that nobody could know where he was. But he just could not do that to _her._ How could he? _She_ was one of the reason why he left. She should know _why_ he left. So he left her a note. He wanted her to know that he did not neglect her. That he would eventually come back. That he would eventually come home...to _her_.

He wanted to believe that. He wanted to believe that she would be alright. But deep down he knew that she _would not_.

So when he met her at Crocus, at Grand Magic Games, he chose to smile. Because if he did not, he would cry. Because he could see that she too, would cry.

So when he crashed at her place, he kept smiling. Because he could see that she was about to cry.

So when he came to her room, he chose to neglect the fact that he could clearly saw she was not sleeping, instead, he looked on the map. Because he could still see, she was about to cry.

 _She was about to cry._ Because of _him._

Natsu hated himself the most at that moment.

***

The next day, he brought her back to Magnolia. He swore they would reformed the guild. Because he wanted her to _smile_.

But when they met Juvia, he knew she was still hurting. She said it to him. Verbatim. _He did not think about the feelings of those who were being left behind_.

Natsu hated himself more at that time.

***

Sometime after that, after the guild had brought together again, after Master came back, after Zeref was defeated, he decided. He was not and would not be _worth it_ for her. _Never_. He hurt her. He made her cry. How could he ever deserve _her_?

That was why he did not kiss her. But still.... _Still_

 _He could not let her go_.

That was why he told her that they will be together forever.

Because deepdown, he _wished_. Maybe.... _maybe_....she would forgive him. Maybe she would _want_ him.

***

It was a quiet night. After the battle with the water dragon. Lucy got back last to the camp after taking a long walk around. The others were already asleep. Not for Natsu, surprisingly. He sat on the far end of the camp, facing the campfire with a faraway look on his face. Lucy walked to him and sat beside him quietly.

"Having trouble going to sleep?"Lucy asked.

Natsu smiled, "A little. You?"

"Same."

There was a comfortable silent engulfed them. Lucy saw Natsu still had that faraway look on his face.

"What are you thinking of?"she asked.

It took quite a while before Natsu asked back, "Back then....weren't you afraid of me?"

It was Lucy's turn to fell silent, "I was. For a while. But I know you won't hurt me. You are _Natsu_ "

Upon hearing that, Natsu chuckled solemnly, "You really believe that?'

Lucy laughed, "What? Are you saying you will willingly hurt me?"

Natsu looked at her directly, "Lucy, I _hurt_ you"

"If it's about the burn, it's okay. Wendy heale..."

"You know exactly what I meant by that, Luce. I _hurt_ you. Admit it."

"Natsu, I understand why you left already and you did not intentionally hurt me or anything"

Natsu teared his gaze away from Lucy and looked at the campfire again. Muttering, " _I made you cry_ "

"No, you didn't."

Natsu laughed dryly, "Would you stop denying it? Admit it. _I left you. I made you cry. I hurt you_."

"Natsu...you still think about that, all this time?"

"You think I could ever forget it?"

Lucy sighed, "If this makes you feel better, I'll say it. I forgive you already. Long, long, time ago."

"Thank you"

There was silence again. It was getting awkward for them there. Lucy sighed and stood up. Deciding that maybe Natsu needed time to be alone.

"Natsu, you need to forgive yourself..."Lucy said.

"Yeah..."

When she was about to walk away, she heard his murmurs,

" _No matter what....I never going to deserve her...._ "

and that was made her turn around. She stood up in front of him,

"What did you say?"

Blinked his eyes in surprise, Natsu gaped, "W..What?'

"What did you just say? Repeat it"

"Nah...it's nothing"

"Natsu Dragneel, don't play that game with me"

"No. I'm serious. It's nothing"

Lucy knelt down so she was in the same eye-level as him before continuing in a softer tone, "Natsu, why do you think you never going to deserve me?"

Natsu's eyes widened. He refused to look at her when he answered quietly, "I _hurt_ you"

"Natsu...."Lucy pleaded.

"Do you think, do you really think that I don't know how much _I've_ hurt _you_? Do you really think that I don't know how much _I've_ made _you cry_? Lucy...? Do you? Do you really think I didn't realize it, that when I met you again in Crocus at that time, that you were about to _cry_? Why do you think _I smiled_ at that time?"

Natsu was crying already, leaving Lucy to gape in front of him. He finally looked at her and smiled, or at least, _tried_ to smile,

"Those are why I would _never_ deserve you, Luce. Those are why I didn't kiss you back then. Do you really think that I didn't know it? I _wanted_ to. I _did._ And I still _do_. But I _can't_ "

"Natsu..."

" _You deserve better_. Not me. It can't be me. _I've hurt you_ "

Lucy pulled Natsu to her embrace and tightly hug him. His tears flowed, making her clothes damp.

" _Damn it. I love you._ " she heard him whispered. _Painfully. Longingly_.

"Natsu...I..."

"Don't. You deserve better. _Not me_."

"But I..."

"Luce...please. Don't. I...can't. I can't have you."

Then he cried. He sobbed. He whimpered. Lucy had no choice but to held him tighter. His cry, sobs, and whimpers were _painful_. _Longing._ She did not know how much time had passed when he finally calm down. She hug him tighter and carressed his hair.

"I love you"she said.

"Luce..."

"I love you"she repeated.

"Luce I don't dese..."

"I DON'T CARE!"she shouted. "I love you! I've forgiven you! I love you! I want you! I love you!"

Natsu let out a sob again. This time, the voice was torn between wanting to succumb to his longing and to stay away because of his faults. He held her tight. When he felt her lips on his forehead, he lost it.

He crashed his lips to hers. It was sloppy and _wet._ From tears. She cried too. But she never let go.

"I love you..."he whispered. " _I love you. So much. I don't deserve you but I love you."_

"Natsu... I forgive you. _I love you_ "

He kissed her again. _And again. And again. And again_. And when they parted, their hands never let go.


End file.
